Cutting the Cord

"There are two ways of getting home; and one of them is to stay there. The other is to walk round the whole world till we come back to the same place..."

This is how G.K. Chesterton introduces "The Everlasting Man" to his readers. It is the third book I have started, and I anticipate it will be the second I finish. It is certainly a book in keeping with my theme of exploring the state of our social and cultural consciousness. Chesterton is not for the thin-skinned or faint of heart. Naturally, I love it. After the grind of the Iliad, it is nice to roll through his jocular style and self-deprecating humor. Also, after the eccentricities and viciousness of Homer's gods, it is refreshing to read about the sanity of Chesterton's God.

Speaking of sanity, there is something I need to tell you. Due diligence. I don't have television. This bears some clarification and a back story. I have never, do not, and never will own a television set. There are some ramifications for this rebellious choice. A couple of items of note:

1. I often get passed over during conversations in some social settings:
Buddy: "Yo, Dan, did you see the game/show/episode of X last night? Oh, sorry, forgot..."
2. Less visitors. Even family members have declined offers to come over, and have cited an important TV event and their need to feed the TV monster.
3. Strange conversations with telemarketers ensue:
Dexter: "Hello Mr. >mispronounces name<, I'm Dexter with DirecTV and I'm calling to talk about switching your TV service to our outstanding package of satellite entertainment. Can you tell me how much you're paying currently for cable?"
Me: "We don't have cable."
Dexter: "We don't show you having DirecTV service currently, are you using another satellite provider?"
Me: "No, we don't have satellite either. We don't have a TV."
Dexter: Uhhh....>completely off script< Well, how would you like to have 600 channels of high quality digital programming instead of just 4?"
Me: "Fine, but we don't have a TV to plug your satellite into."
Dexter:......
Me: "Are you there?"
Dexter: "No TV?"
Me: "Right. No TV set- the box with the cord and stuff."
Dexter: "Why?"
Me: "Dexter, I'm glad you asked..."

4. Extra free time. Like to read books. And talk to people. Strange, I know. People feel uncomfortable sometimes, in our living room. They have to look at each other, us even. They look around nervously for the normal focal point, the Feng Shui schwerpunkt as it were, of the modern American home. Most of my friends have one set in each room. Their cars have more TV screens inside headrests than I'll have in a lifetime.

5. Weird threats. Some guys at work think it is a great injustice, my TV poverty. They have plotted to get on Craigslist and Freecycle, getting all the old "free" TVs and making an offering. Imagine 40-50 old tube-driven, analog programmed beauties strewn about my lawn, on my cars, my porch. What barbarians would think of that?

This is a choice, of course. Growing up we had just three and a half channels (24 was real grainy) and when I moved out, it never crossed my mind to purchase a TV. My roommates had a TV in college, so I never felt obliged to shop for one. Upon living solo, I realized the great freedom of a TV-free lifestyle. Plus, money was tight. Not just for the box, but cable? Who could just have the over-air programming? My wife also never owned a set. So, when we got married, we made the conscious decision to cut the cord. And we're better off for it.

Many have asked me how I can live without a TV. I tell them its the same way they stopped smoking crack cocaine. If you never start, it's easier to do without. My family will argue that, even without a TV, we're not TV-free. And they have a valid point. Even without a TV, TV begins to crowd into your life. Online shows, videos on your computer, visiting friends who must have it on as background noise. My reading drive is a way to further break away from social programming. That's the proper way to think about TV. Who's programming you? What's the program? "Buy, Buy, Buy! You are inadequate!"

This year, I'm beating back the TV's tendrils, like a digital kudzu. It may be the "long way home", but I'm seeking a deeper independence from this culture that now finds itself with an unprecendented moral and economic crisis.

Give me Chesterton, or give me death. Book on!